As I sit here alone (except for two mangy mutts and one hell cat) I can’t help but ponder over this past year. A lot has happened but I can’t help smiling about it. Okay, let’s be honest for a second.. This year has probably been one of the hardest, craziest, most out of control, beautiful, wonderful years of my life. Rather than go into an untold amount of details that will put you guys to sleep I will just sum it up real quick:
- I got dumped. Over a text message. In the middle of the night. By a douche bag.
- I got (what felt like) abandoned by a family member and rendered homeless.
- I moved into my own two bedroom house in a shady neighborhood. And when I say shady I mean I literally was woken up multiple times from people trying to rob me and even had my American flag stolen off my porch. Yikes.
- I was betrayed by my best friend.
- I got played. Again. (You would think I would learn)
- I lost 60lbs. WOW!
- I met an amazing man who has taught me what it means to have a family of my own.
- I changed jobs. Praise Jesus!
- I moved in with the love of my life an hour away from my toxic past.
- I found my happy place.
So to say that a lot has happened in the past year would be an understatement. A lot of heart break happened this year and my eyes were opened. When I say “opened” imagine the blinding light of the sunshine on a flat plane of snow for as far as you can see in the arctic after waking up with 10,000 midgets with hammers going to town on your brain with a vengeance and no Tylenol in sight.. Too dramatic? Not only was my heart hurt by boys, friends, and family, but most of all my hope was killed. I never felt so low about myself. I didn’t have a home for my daughter, no significant other (or anyone for that matter), and no hope that things were going to get any better. It was a massive snowball effect that I just couldn’t seem to change the course of no matter how hard I tried. But then a light at the end of the tunnel began to emerge.
I found a friend that took me and my daughter in. Then I found another friend whose sister in-law was renting out her house and by some miracle let me have it. Then I met Michael. He slowly became my best friend. We took a vacation together and I fell for him instantly no matter how hard I tried not to. This man just seemed to make everything seem so insignificant. He took my problems and turned them into solutions. He stepped up and became a father figure to Skylar where her own father sat down. I will be eternally grateful to whatever force it was that put this man in my path because without him I really don’t know where I would be.
There were a lot of downs on this roller coaster known as 2017 but in my eyes the ups outweighed them hand over fist. I can’t believe where I was mentally and physically a year ago compared to now. I’ve matured a lot and learned to take responsibility for my faults. I’ve learned to grow. The biggest thing I’ve learned is how to forgive. Never forget, but forgive. At the end of the day your family is your family whether you like it or not. Learning to forgive has lightened my heart and made it possible to be genuinely happy with my life. It helped me put into perspective what exactly I have. I have a roof over my head, a warm bed (when Michael doesn’t steal the covers), food in my belly, a beautiful and amazingly smart four year old princess, and a man that loves me even on my bad days. I could not be more blessed.
So 2017, you’ve been a trip dude. I would say that you will be missed as a whole but that would be a lie. The first six months you taught me a lot of hard lessons but the last six have been some of the best of my life. Thank you for the blessings you’ve bestowed upon me and thank you for teaching me about hard times. It is my greatest pleasure though to tell you to kick rocks. I am excited to see what 2018 has to offer and if she’s anything like you, it will be an experience that I wouldn’t trade for the world. So without further adieu…. FUCK YOU 2017, GTFO!